Toddler Troubles Rewritten
by Clarobell
Summary: After falling into a mystical lake, Sanji Zoro and Luffy are changed into Toddlers. With the monster trio out of action, how will the straw hats cope? Rewrite in progress - now with Franky and Brooke! Chapter 8 up!
1. The Treasure

**Right then guys, as with my other fanfictions, I've decided I will write what I want to, when I want to, and something I've wanted to do for a long, long time, is to rewrite Toddler Troubles to my current standard of writing. To those of you waiting for my other fanfics, Quest and dark truth and whatever else, please wait a little longer. Life isn't being very kind to me right now, and I need to do what I want, rather than what people want from me to get me through some things. Writing isn't fun when it becomes a chore, ne?**

**As with my other fanfiction under revision, "Pets", chapters in here may be chopped and changed to my heart's content. I'll stop when I don't feel like writing anymore and chapters will be short, but hopefully speedy. Most of you have probably already read this anyway!**

**Without further ado, Toddler troubles returns, bigger and better than before, with all new chapters (hopefully!) and all new scenes! Guess what? You better welcome Franky and Brooke into this little adventure, too!**

**Thank you all for your support through PMs and Reviews, every single one is appreciated.**

**Toddler Troubles**

**Chapter 1: The Treasure**

The sun glimmered high in the sky against a brilliant blue background, not a cloud marred the perfect horizon. The wind was light, a pleasant relief from the day's gentle heat and no enemy ships in sight; all in all a perfect day for sailing. It was just after noon and lunch had recently been finished. With full bellies and little worries, the crew languidly filled their time in the wait to arrive at the next island.

Twin snores echoes across the quiet deck, soft ones from the ship's captain, flopped gracelessly over the lion's head of the Thousand Sunny, and roaring snores from his first mate slumped against the mast in a patch of shade. The soft clanking of plates and running water sounded from the galley as Sanji washed up the mountain of dishes from lunch and the quiet voices of the ship's doctor and sharpshooter mumbled from the cabin, as another web of lies was concocted into an unbelievable story; the little reindeer would believe it, of course. Nami had settled herself on deck with a map spread out in front of her and the day's newspaper folded by her side. Laid out on her belly as one hand twirled a strand of hair between her fingers and the other ghosted across the old parchment, she looked almost like a teenager flicking through a girly magazine. The muffled clang of metal on metal and exclamation of "supah!" travelled from within the ships belly, barely audible over the gentle melody gliding from Brooke's violin as he played and sang quietly to himself, not wanting to disturb his crewmates. Robin meanwhile stood high above in the crows nest, idly thumbing through one of her numerous books, soaking up information like a black haired, blue eyed sponge. She glanced up from time to time to keep a watchful eye on the ocean and her crew, but each time the waves remained empty and calm.

A strangled gasp from Nami caught the archaeologist's attention and she closed her eyes to bloom an extra orb on her crewmates shoulder. Nami, oblivious to her crewmates spying, scrutinised the map in front of her intently and mumbled quietly to herself. A finger trailed eagerly over a small patch of writing at the corner of the frayed parchment and a smile played across Robin's face as she glanced over the text. Nami's face adopted a sceptical look, and Robin's smile grew mischievously. She released her spying eye on Nami and instead turned her attention to her dozing Captain.

Luffy groaned sleepily as he was suddenly lifted by a dozen hands into a sitting position, a small but strong fist knocking on his head like one would on a door. He looked down and blinked groggily at the flurry of limbs holding him up in a sitting position.

"Na, Robin, what is it?" he asked with a yawn.

The disembodied limbs shifted and forced Luffy's attention onto the ship's navigator. The rubber boy blinked in confusion, before his eyes suddenly lit up, a wide smile stretching across his face.

"Thanks, Robin!" he grinned, and yelped as the limbs vanishing in a blossom of flower petals. The young captain laughed and steadied himself before he jumped to the deck and made his way over to Nami. He knew that look on her face; that was Nami's "treasure" look. Maybe this day wouldn't be so boring after all?

Nami frowned as a captain-shaped shadow suddenly blocked the sunlight and quirked an eyebrow as the owner of said shadow crouched beside her, smiling excitedly as he looked over the map in clueless curiosity. Dark eyes then lifted and settled on hers.

"What is it?" he asked excitedly.

Nami smirked and rolled her eyes. She spared a glace up at the crow's nest where Robin smiled innocently back at her and offered a little wave. The navigator sighed in defeat and pushed herself into a sitting position, lifting the map for Luffy to see. There was no point hiding it now – once Luffy had his sights set on something, nothing could stop him.

"Listen to this," Nami spoke, as she started to read aloud from the parchment in front of her.

"_For those seeking the greatest treasure_

_Pirates and people alike_

_Seek the Crossbones islands_

_And bathe in its riches."_

Luffy hummed thoughtfully, his face scrunching up and lip jutting out in thought. With a smile, he popped the side of his curled fist into his palm.

"A mystery clue!" he exclaimed and Nami shook her head in exasperation.

"Dumbass," she chided gently, as Luffy sniggered. "I picked this map up on the last island from that old lady at the docks. It was cheap, so I thought I'd cross reference it against my own maps that I've done of the area so far."

"Are they good?" Luffy asked, excitedly. He was always happy to hear about the progress of the dreams of his nakama.

"Tch, of course they are." Nami scoffed, and lifted a hand to flick her captain's rubbery head. "But that doesn't matter right now. See here?" the navigator pointed out a splatter of small shapes on the large map. "This is Crossbones islands."

"Ou!" Luffy noised, as he leaned in closer, his face inches from the parchment. Nami sighed and grabbed his hair, yanking him back.

"Not so close, idiot." She scolded. "This map is _old_. The last thing we need is you ruining it with your breath!"

"I brushed my teeth today!" Luffy responded, his tone sounding accused and defensive. Nami clouted him round the head in annoyance.

"Listen, Luffy." she started, "I don't know if there's still going to be treasure here – like I said, this thing is _really_ old."

"How far away is it?" Luffy asked, still pouting as he rubbed at his head.

"This is the last island, and this is where we are." The navigator explained, as she jabbed her finger at a small shape on the map before she gently trailed it over the worn material to a blank spot. Luffy nodded as he followed her instructions. She brought her free hand forward and pointed to the Crossbones islands. "This is Crossbones; maybe a day, two if the winds are bad."

"So cool!" Luffy laughed, and grinned. "These islands look just like the jolly roger!"

Nami sighed and she rubbed her head in frustration. Yes, he captain certainly was a perceptive one. She could feel a headache coming on already. The islands had obviously been named for their unusual formation, the main island a fair size bigger than the surrounding ones. Between each smaller island and the main central island were rock structures that jutted out from the sea, several miles apart. When mapped, the landmarks looked strikingly similar to a jolly roger.

"I've decided!" Luffy said suddenly, and stood up. "We're going to the Jolly Roger Island!"

"It's called 'Crossbones', idiot!" Nami scolded, though from the small, excited smile on her face, Luffy knew she was happy with his decision. There was still a chance that there could be treasure, after all. She set about changing their course as Luffy raced around the ship to inform the crew of their new, upcoming adventure.

That night, with the ship anchored and the crew tucked up in their beds, Sanji sat silently in the watch tower. Blue eyes focused on the black waves surrounding their ship, but his mind wandered elsewhere as he closed his lips around the cigarette pinched between his thumb and finger and took a drag. His lips quirked upwards as the telltale creak of wood signalled the approach of one of the crew members climbing the ladder to join him. It wasn't like he hadn't expected it, and he reached over and rested the back of his fingers against the mug of cocoa that had been sitting on the table for about fifteen minutes. It was still warm – good.

Seconds later, Luffy head popped up from the hatch that led into the watch room. Wide eyes scanned the room until they rested on Sanji and an even wider grin split the boys face as he hopped into the room and trotted over to join his cook. Sanji handed over the cocoa without explanation and sat back, taking another long drag of his cigarette, lazily exhaling the smoke away from Luffy.

"Captain." He greeted, smooth and relaxed as always.

Luffy took a hefty gulp of his chocolate drink and sat back with a contented sigh. It was always the same before a new adventure. The excitement had him coiled like a spring and he would toss and turn for hours without sleep. His tousled hair and ruffled night clothes were evidence of his sleep struggle. All he really needed was a distraction to help him fall asleep and get his mind off of the exciting events of the next day.

"Tomorrows menu," Sanji started, an amused smile playing on his lips. It was a Luffy-style bed time story. Telling him an adventure story would just excite him more, and something sappy or boring wouldn't hold his interest long enough to distract him. Food however, was a perfect distraction.

Luffy listened eagerly as Sanji listed off the delicious sounding breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks of the next day. In a deliberate slow, drawling voice, he explained the preparation of each ingredient and each step in creating the meals. Luffy closed his eyes and licked his lips as he mentally pictured each scrumptious sounding ingredient and sat cross-legged, with his arms folded behind him as a makeshift pillow for his head. Sanji's eyes stayed focused on the black waves, vigilantly watching for any danger in the dark water around them as he slowly explained his cooking plan for the next day.

Halfway through lunch, Sanji caught a soft snore from behind him and tore his gaze away from the ocean for a second to glance back at his dozing captain in satisfaction. The cocoa was gone and the brat was asleep. Mission accomplished. The chef didn't bother trying move Luffy to encourage him to go to bed. If he woke him, they'd just wind up back at stage one. He grabbed a heavy blanket he brought up with him earlier and flicked it into the air, letting it float down onto the younger boy's wiry body. It wasn't uncommon for Luffy to wake him the night before an 'adventure' for a cocoa or a midnight snack to help him sleep. They'd figured out this routine months back, and it always worked.

Sanji leaned back into the cushioned chairs or the watch room and turned back towards the ocean. Bring on the new adventure – bring on whatever lovely ladies would come with it~!

**Right guys, like I said, rewritten, shorter, but I don't care! If you don't like it, I'm truly sorry, but as my mum says – hard cheese. I'm writing for own satisfaction for a while, and I'm loving this new style of shorter chapters. No stress, no pressure and all fun! I hope you enjoyed it anyway. **

**If there's anything you wanted to see after reading Toddler Troubles the original, please let me know! Thanks to everybody who has supported this fic and my others! Give me time people, I'll get around to them all in the end.**


	2. The Lake

**Guys, not cool. How come all of you guys are panicking and asking me to put the fic back up again? The amount of PMs I've received TELLING me to put the old fic back up is quite... annoying. Seriously guys, it's my fic, and I'll do what I like with it. To those of you with encouraging words, I thank you very much, and to those of you that have ASKED for the old fic, if you would like it then please feel free to message me (NOT review) and send me your email address. I'll be happy to send you the old version so you can still read the fic whilst I'm in the process of updating.**

**So there's your offer people, and please, stop asking me for the old version. I understand you've enjoyed the fic and I'm grateful, but I'm rewriting it to make it better, and to help myself, okay? Thanks to those who have given me support and understanding.**

**Toddler Troubles**

**Chapter 2: The Lake**

At first light, the crew raised anchor and set sail again. Strong winds carried their ship forward as though it wanted them to go on this new adventure and Luffy could barely contain his excitement. He bounced around the deck after breakfast like an oversized slinky, and stopped only when he spotted Nami looking over the map again. He she mumbled quietly to herself and nodded before she stood and made her way over to Franky who was at the shops wheel. Luffy didn't hear what she said, but after a few words the cyborg nodded and gave the wheel a flick, changing their course.

Luffy didn't question Nami's decision; she was their navigator after all. Instead he jogged over to the map, weighted down by a small stone at one end and a tangerine at the other. Luffy reached out to pluck up the juicy looking fruit and yelped when Nami's hand shot forward and pinched the back of his rubbery skin with her manicured nails.

"AHH! Owowow!" Luffy squealed and he retracted his hand and blew on it. "What was that for, Nami?"

Nami ignored her wounded captain's whining and instead focused her attention on the map again. Luffy pouted at her ignorant and crouched beside her on the deck.

"Which island are we going to first?"

"The central island." Nami mumbled as she chewed her lip. "As far as I can tell, that's where the treasure should be."

Luffy crouched over the map carefully and gently traced his finger along the blotches of ink that represented the Crossbones Islands.

"So where's the treasure on the island?" Luffy asked curiously, as Nami pulled the map from under his fingers and rolled it up securely.

"I don't know." She answered bluntly. "We'll just have to look and ask around – if it was that simply explained, there would be no point in hiding it in the first place, dummy."

"Right!" Luffy grinned, unfazed by Nami's name-calling as he rushed off to take his perch atop the Sunny-Go's figurehead. "Oiiii! Frrrrankkkyyy!" he whined, "Can't we use coup de Burst?"

"Not any time soon, bro." Franky replied as he swiped sweat from his brow with an oversized arm, tearing his attention away from his latest work of art to answer his captain. "The only cola we have left is what I've got inside me. We used the last barrel to escape those marines a few days back."

Luffy sighed and flopped forward. He could hardly wait.

Early afternoon found the crew docking at the centre island. They left Sunny beached on the golden sands and journeyed together through the thick foliage and jungle ground. They weren't hindered by the overgrowth of natural plant life, though Zoro wasn't too happy about uses his swords as a make shift lawnmower. Franky had offered to clear their path with his 'Fresh fire', but was swiftly denied with a clout round the head from Nami – " We want to search the island, not burn it down!". The only person to struggle with the journey was Chopper. Being a fair bit shorter than his crewmates, he had a little difficulty moving through the thick plants littered amongst the path. Rather than risk frightening the natives with his heavy point, he instead opted to ride on Zoro's shoulders – and it didn't make him one bit happy! Not at all, bastards! Brooke meanwhile, had offered to stay behind to guard the ship and their possessions on board.

In their sails around the island as they searched for a place to safely dock, they had spied a small village tucked amongst the trees and mountains. The people seemed to live a primitive life, but as well as searching for the treasure, the crew also needed to resupply, and so they decided to trek to the village first.

"So what kind of treasure do you think it is?" Luffy asked excitedly, as he bounced along beside his first mate.

"Don't know." Zoro replied grumpily as a wide yawn broke free from his lips and he sliced away another huddle of plants blocking their path. "Go ask Nami."

Luffy turned expectantly to Nami but before he had a chance to voice his question, an arrow lodged into the bark of the tree beside him. A heavy silence fell over the crew for a few seconds before Chopper and Usopp screamed. The little doctor puffed up like a sponge around Zoro's head, and the swordsman's Zoro's muffled shouts of protest fell on deaf ears as Usopp retreated behind Sanji and the rest of the crew came on guard.

"Haha! This is so exciting!" Luffy cheered, his grin untouchable, even as Nami punched him over the head.

"Can't you be serious for five minutes?" she scolded. "We're being attacked here!"

Several more arrows soared through the air, deflected by a swift flick of Sanji's leg and Franky's fire, the men moving instinctively to defend the women. Robin watched the next round of arrows as they burst from the treetops not metres from where they stood. With sharp eyes locked onto her target, Robin's lips twitched into a smirk and she delicately folded her arms across her bosom in an 'X'.

"Clutch!"

Pained howls and loud crunches echoed across the jungle as numerous tanned men toppled from the treetops. Luffy was quick to react and threw his arms forward, tough fingers taking solid purchase in a couple of trees as he rocketed himself forward and caught three of the falling strangers. Usopp took care of the other two with a net fired from his Kabuto. As always, his mark was on target and the remaining two tanned men tumbled together in a netted heap.

Luffy trotted back to the group with one rubbery arm secured around the injured natives' bodies like a rope.

"Good work, Luffy-san." Robin praised, as the rubber teen dropped the tanned men before his crew. Robin chuckled softly to herself and couldn't help but compare her playful captain to a puppy playing fetch.

"You think these guys know where the treasure is?" Luffy asked, excitement shining in his eyes.

"Maybe," Nami answered as she nudged Sanji aside and approached the captives. One hissed out a string of foreign words and the navigator raised a ginger brow. "Either way, it doesn't sound like they speak a lick of _our _language."

"They're most likely natives from that small village we sailed past."

"They're not very friendly..." Usopp mumbled.

"I doubt they've seen many pirates, Usopp-san." Robin answered. "They're defending their home."

"Let's take 'em home!" Luffy chirped as he lifted one of the men by their arms to his feet. "Somebody there might know where the treasure is!"

"_Or_," Usopp intoned with a pleasant smile, "They might stab us and shoot arrows at us."

Luffy's smile never faltered and the marksman heaved a heavy sigh, as his body slumped under the weight of his clueless captain's positivity. Zoro, having calmed Chopper enough to free himself, wordlessly picked up the two men trapped within Usopp's net as Sanji and Franky hoisted up one of the remaining men each. Usopp spluttered uselessly as the crew around him continued on their way before he heaved another sigh and raised his arms in a hopeless shrug.

It wasn't long before the trees blocking their way thinned and a path opened to a small clearing in the forest. A cluster of huts made up a small village, not more than 20, made with straw and branches, dotted around a thin stream that ran from a mountain to the ocean. Natives bunched together, hands tightening around sharp spears and primitive weapons at the sight of the strangers carrying their own.

"I don't think they're happy to see us, Luffy." Usopp whined softly as he slunk close behind his crazy captain.

"I wonder if they have any meat?" Luffy asked, ignorant of Usopp's fears. He marched into the village carelessly.

"Here we go," Nami muttered, as she shook her head and followed after Luffy in an attempt to prevent the likely event of them being chased from the island. "Such a troublesome captain. Luffy! Come back here!"

"Oi, oi!" Luffy greeted the closest person. "Do you know where the treasure is? Is there any meat here? I'm starving!"

"Luffy!" Nami screeched, and punched here rubber captain in the back of his head. "Don't go walking up to people asking questions when you've just beat up five of their men!"

"Nami!" Luffy protested as he held his aching head. "_They _attacked _us_!"

A commotion started up when a dozen or so natives plucked up their courage, men and women alike and formed a small defence, wielding a collection of their primitive weapons. They shouted foreign words in the native tongue accompanied with clicks and hisses.

"Ehh, now look what you've done, idiot!" the red head growled as she socked her captain again.

"Ow! Owow! Nami!" Luffy protested, tears stinging his eyes as he clutched his aching head.

"They say you witch!" a voice suddenly piped up, heavily accented.

"What did you call me?" Nami roared, and the man who had spoke up shrank back again. "Wait... you understand us?"

The man hesitated. Like the rest of the tribe, his clothes were mere rags that barely covered his essential parts, his hair cropped short to his head (men and women alike) and he carried a spear like weapon. He seemed hesitant to approach Nami after her outburst, but nonetheless swallowed his reservations and stepped forward.

"I speak your words, pirates." He answered.

"How do you know we're pirates?" Luffy asked, curiously.

"I see your ship sail. I see your skull."

"You mean our jolly roger?" Luffy asked, as a grin once again stretched across his face and he stepped forward. The man raised his spear and the rubber teen paused.

"I see skull. I see many skull. They come before – some good, some bad – more bad." The native continued, intense eyes focused on Luffy's. "What you come for?"

"Treasure!" Luffy answered bluntly. Nami blanched at her captain's honesty and shook her head in exasperation. It wasn't as if these people we're going to welcome them with open arms and say 'Hey, it's this way, I'll take you there'.

"You want treasure?" the native man asked, a knowing look in his dark eyes. "I take you there."

Nami nearly fell over, shock written all over her face. "Just like that?" she squeaked. "No fighting? Nothing?"

"My people no need this treasure. You no hurt my people, we no hurt you."

The man raised his free hand and lowered his spear. The people gathered behind him followed the motion and it was obvious this young man before them was a man of power, no matter how small. Zoro, Sanji and Franky fought the urge to hide the unconscious natives they'd brought with them behind their backs, like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"I already hurt these guys." Luffy spoke up as he dropped the one conscious native he'd carried at the man's feet. "But he tried to hurt me first."

"I tell you before," the bold native stated. "Many skulls here, we learn not trust all." He paused now, and looked Luffy up and down. "You a good man. I see no evil in you."

Luffy grinned. "We only kicked their asses a little." He offered and the remaining unconscious natives were returned without need of an order. "So we can go get the treasure now, right? And then eat?"

The native laughed at Luffy. "What is your name, Skull-with-hat?"

"Me?" Luffy grinned, "I'm Monkey D. Luffy!"

"Monkey D. Luffy? You come, Luffy. I show you treasure. You and your skulls come."

Luffy followed in step behind the man as he started walking and the crew fell in step behind Luffy.

"Who are you, then?" Luffy asked.

"My name Golonzo." The native answered. "These my people."

"That's a weird name." Luffy said, as he walked beside Golonzo, and laughed.

"Luffy weird name." Golonzo replied.

"Haha! I guess so!"

The two chatted as the crew followed the native through the forest. Sanji fussed over fanning Nami with a giant leaf he'd picked up and Usopp fretted over whether this guy was leading them to the treasure, or maybe some violent end. This of course sent Chopper into a panicked frenzy and he burst into Guard Point when Usopp jumped up behind him and scared him even more. Zoro scowled as the back of his head suddenly adopted a brunette afro, but was grateful that he still had his sight and wasn't being suffocated by the fur. More of a ruckus kicked off when Sanji passed the remark "Marimafro", and the two broke into a fight. Golonzo paused their trek in concern, but Robin assured him this behaviour was normal and to continue on their way. The native seemed perplexed, but his guests didn't seem bothered and so he continued their guide.

Before long they came to a clearing, close to the centre of the island, much larger than the area where the village was. Their chatter and arguments quietened to a silence as they took in the breathtaking sight before them.

A huge, crystalline lake spread out before them, the water so still you would have thought it was glass. No fish or plant life occupied the lake, which made it seem all that clearer and more surreal.

"Wow," Nami breathed, awe struck. "Beautiful."

"This 'Chia Lalaki'" Golonzo explained, "This sacred treasure."

Nami's smile fell as she heard those words. Did that guy just say what she thought he did?

"Excuse me?" she asked breathlessly. "Did... you just say that this lake...?"

"This treasure." Golonzo repeated with a nod, pride lacing his voice. "This sacred lake. Our treasure."

Nami resisted the urge to groan and barked out a bitter laugh. "I should have known something was up when I read '_bathe in its gift_'" she grumbled and rubbed her temples as she felt a headache building.

"No gold?" Luffy asked, confused.

"This our treasure," the native leader repeated once more, and raised his hand toward the lake. "This sacred lake, 'Chia Lalaki'."

Luffy's expression remained confused as he moved closer to the water and stared down at his reflection. Zoro walked over to a large tree and settled at its trunk as Nami raged on about useless inscriptions and idiot captains. Sanji crooned about how beautiful Nami was when she was angry as Robin inspected the water's edge with Luffy and Usopp flopped in the shade with Chopper. The sun was now high in the sky, and they hadn't eaten since this morning.

"Maybe there's treasure at the bottom?" Luffy mused out loud and smiled as he spotted several particularly large trees that leaned over the water. He trotted off to scale one and get a better look.

Golonzo watched the crew anxiously, sensing their disappointment. "This not what you come for?"

"Not exactly." Robin answered, crouched at the water's edge as she inspected the water. "It is very beautiful though."

"This lake sacred." The native explained. "It treasure of island."

Robin hummed thoughtfully, but the crews attention was torn away from their disappointment by Usopp's voice.

"Oi Luffy!" the sharpshooter cried anxiously, having spotted his captain hanging precariously over the water from a tree branch. "Get down from there, stupid! You might fall in the water!"

"Don't be silly Usopp – I'm fi-_WHOA_!" Luffy yelped as the branch underneath him cracked and fell away. His rubber limbs stretched up and found purchase on the remaining part of the branch. "See? I told you I'm—"

Luffy never had a chance to finish as the remaining half of the branch snapped away and he splashed into the water below.

"Here we go again," Zoro muttered, as he kicked his shoes off and removed his swords and shirt. Sanji also kicked his shoes off and slipped out of his jacket.

"Oi, marimo!" he called, lips twisting to a smirk around his cigarette. "I bet I can beat you to Luffy!"

"You're on, love cook!" Zoro barked, as both men broke into a run towards the lake. Sanji spat out his cig and both men gulped in a breath of air before they leapt into the clear water.

**Well, there we go. I'm actually very satisfied with how this chapter turned out, and I hope you are too. It's a little longer than I expected it to be, as part of my renovation of my writing is to keep chapters short and sweet and finish when I feel satisfied, but I enjoyed writing this so much, i just kept going. Feel free to leave a review, or don't, it's up to you. I'm happy with how this turned out and that's all that really matter to me.**

**Thank you once again to all the people sending me encouraging PMs and reviews. I do appreciate every one of them.**


	3. The Toddlers

**Thank you to everybody who reviewed and PM'd with kind words. I'm sorry I couldn't reply to them all, but my internet has been down for a month and I haven't been able to access it at all in the last week and a half. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last. **

**Also, to those that asked for the old fic, please remember that your email address does NOT show in a PM or review. If you want to fic, you'll have to write your email address in words, e.g. your email dash one one address at email provider dot com.**

**Onwards!**

**Toddler Troubles**

**Chapter 3: The Toddlers**

A heavy silence hung in the air as three dripping figures emerged from the crystalline waters of the lake and crawled (one dragged) back onto the land. The crew's faces ranged from shock and horror to mild surprise and amusement. Nami was the first to speak as her eyes darted from one of her wet friends to the next and finally settled on her captain.

"L... Luffy?" she called, uncertainly.

Zoro, panting heavily from the swim (since when had pulling his air headed captain been so difficult anyways?), raised his head at the tone of urgency in Nami's voice.

"What?"

Emerald eyes widened at the unnaturally high pitch of the voice that left his throat. Sanji seemed to have noticed too as he raised his head and blinked his eyes blearily. Everything seemed so heavy and overwhelming. The blonde shook his head to clear it and stood dizzily.

"Oi, shitty-"

Sanji stopped abruptly as he heard his own voice and quickly moved his hands up to cover his mouth. Sea-blue eyes shot open in shock at his own squeaky voice and then he noticed the hands covering his head. In the space of three seconds, the Straw hat cook took in his own appearance, and then that of his two companions and promptly screamed like a little girl. Just as quick, he smothered the noise with tiny hands as his cheeks coloured deeply. By now Zoro had opened his eyes fully and just stared at his hands blankly as if they had sprouted a few extra fingers.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

Luffy groaned as his strength slowly returned to him and he sat up groggily. All eyes settled on their captain, and waited to see his reaction.

"Luffy," Nami whispered, "You're tiny." Then as an after-thought, "Please tell me, for some reason, you've gone gear third?"

"Eh?" Luffy noised, and then looked quizzically at Nami before looking at himself and then around him at his first mate and cook. His eyes widened and a mixture of shock and excitement crossed his face.

"Ehh? Zoro, Sanji!" he cried, "How did you learn how to go gear third?"

"Idiot!" Zoro roared and punched his captain over his rubbery head. "As if we could do that!"

"Is sacred magic," Golonzo spoke up suddenly, his expression apprehensive as he took in the crew's reactions to their mates changes. "This 'Chia Lalaki' – 'Spirit Lake'."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sanji yelled, cheeks tinted pink at the sound of his own voice.

"'The Spirit Lake'." Robin repeated, "Otherwise known as the 'lake of Life', or perhaps 'The Fountain of Youth'?"

"You're kidding me," Nami muttered, as her jaw dropped open. "Please tell me this is only temporary. Robin-chan? It is, right?"

"I'm afraid I couldn't say. This lake, until now was considered myth." The dark haired woman answered, and though her words were serious, a flicker amusement shone in her eyes as they glanced at her pintsized crewmembers.

"Well?" Nami repeated, as she turned her attention to the native beside them. "Is this permanent?"

"They be back normal," Golonzo answered with a firm certainty in his voice, and Nami smiled in relief, "In many years."

Nami's smile immediately fell. "What?"

"They grow again." The native explained patiently. "I hold many years. Only honoured peoples use lake. My people not be happy when find out you use."

"I don't give a fuck whether your people are happy or not!" Sanji yelled, suddenly, and stood, clutching his oversized baby blue shirt to his body like a blanket to cover his nakedness. "I want my body back!"

"Sanji..." Usopp muttered. He didn't dare imagine how the prideful cook and swordsman were handling this change. Golonzo eyed the crew intensely, as though contemplating what he should say. Nami's final straw of patience fizzled up and she moved forward and grabbed the chief by his tribal necklace. His eyes widened at her strength as she pulled him around and slammed him against a tree. Franky blinked in surprise.

"Yo, sis?" he offered, and raised a hand tentatively. "I could've handled that?"

"Shut up, Franky," Nami hissed, her temper flared to full force. "Robin-chan?"

Robin didn't need to ask what Nami wanted as she smiled and crossed her arms over her breasts in her typical attack stance. "Diez Flur!"

Ten hands sprouted from the bark of the tree and trapped the native against it as Nami released him. Robin stepped forward and the two women stared Golonzo down like a trapped rabbit.

"Alright," Nami continued as she slammed her open palm into the rough bark beside the man's tanned head. "We tried to do this nicely, but you obviously don't understand _Golonzo_. We want our crew normal. _Now_."

Golonzo watched Nami warily, but seemed mostly unfazed by the sight of Robin's disembodied arms. "Your women are fierce." He finally spoke, and glanced to the men of the crew.

"Damn straight!" Luffy piped up. All three members of the monster trio were now standing, using their oversized clothes like blankets. From the looks of them, Zoro and Sanji couldn't be more than four years old and Luffy, barely half their size, couldn't be more than two years old.

"There is more lake." The native chief spoke finally. "This sacred lake natural, but many years ago, elders enchant one more."

"A man made fountain of youth... the reverse the effects of the natural one?" Robin asked curiously. "Interesting."

"You're not lying to us, right _Golonzo_?" Nami asked, a dangerous tone tinting her voice.

"Nobody want it," the native replied, "I not know where is. Is on smaller island."

"Bullshit." Franky spoke up. "Basically you wanna send us off to another island on a hunt for some man-made lake that you've never seen before?"

"You believe or not, not matter," Golonzo answered, "My tribe small, weak. Cannot fight. If I lie, you kill me."

"I believe you!" Luffy grinned, "And if you are lying, I'll just come back and kick your ass!"

The native's lips twitched upwards. He liked this boy. "It is a deal."

Nami looked between Luffy and Golonzo before she sighed heavily and waved her hand dismissively. "Okay Robin-chan, let him go. Looks like we're going on a wild goose chase after all."

"Maybe he's telling the truth?" Usopp asked hopefully.

"We should get back to the ship so that I can check you guys over." Chopper interjected. "I think Golonzo is telling the truth, but there could be side effects we don't know about..."

"Good idea," Usopp replied, "Besides there might be wild animals in these forests."

Nami sighed again and rubbed her temples. "Right," she muttered in frustration. "Franky, you and I will go with Golonzo back to the village to find out more about this 'sacred lake'. Robin-chan, if you could please make sure these idiots make it back to the ship safely?"

"Oi!" Usopp complained, "We're not idiots!"

"Of course," Robin interjected.

Zoro was the first to move. With his oversized shirt hanging over his body like a dress, he struggled to walk on the twig littered ground and tripped over the shirt three times before finally falling flat on his face. Luffy laughed boisterously and the pintsized Marimo glared heatedly at him.

"Shut up." He grumped.

"Here you go, Zoro," Chopper offered as he shifted into his walking point and lay down on the ground beside the tiny swordsman. "You always carry me when I have trouble, so now I can return the favour!"

Zoro hesitated only for a moment before he hoisted one leg over the reindeer and settled at Choppers neck. He grabbed a hold of the reindeers antlers as Chopper stood, to steady himself.

Sanji seemed to be in even more of a predicament as he struggled to roll up his long sleeves so that he could lift his _extremely_ long shirt and walk. Robin chuckled, but refrained from offering to carry the little blonde – he still had his pride after all. She also didn't doubt he wouldn't take advantage of the chance to be close to certain assets of hers. She watched for a while longer though before finally resigning herself to the fact he wouldn't be going anywhere. He'd barely freed one arm in two minutes.

"Sanji-san?" she called, "Perhaps you wouldn't mind if I helped you?"

Sanji beamed and noodle, which sent the shirt flailing around like some kind of tentacle monster. "Robin-chwan~! You would do that for me?"

"It would be my pleasure." She replied, and scooped the little chef into her arms, making sure he was well covered before she settled him in.

Usopp by now had move to gather his shrunken crew members' clothes and was crouched beside the wet garments, as he gathered them carefully. After all, this water was sacred and magical – he didn't want to end up tiny like his crewmates.

Luffy watched the sharpshooter, and his eyes narrowed as he smirked predatorily. Stealthily, he crunched his way over leaves and twigs towards his long nosed friend and readied himself to pounce. Usopp of course heard him coming a mile away and waited for the inevitable thump against his back. Luffy finally pounced and locked his rubbery arms around his friend's neck.

"Piggyback!" he cheered. After all, if Zoro and Sanji were getting carried, he wanted to be too!

With their rides assigned, the crew parted and made their separate ways to their destinations. Luffy waved cheerfully at the retreating trio as his own group headed in their own way. Zoro sneered at Sanji as he snuggled up close to robin's chest, practically oozing love hearts.

"Sissy." He muttered.

"Ehh?" Sanji questioned, torn from his dream by Zoro's jibe. "What was that, swords-baby?"

"Hmph."

"Hush, Sanji-san." Robin scolded, and the blonde immediately settled down and began oozing love hearts again. Robin hoped Nami would be able to find something to reverse these effects, but until then she mused, it would be amusing to watch her extremely cute affected crew members and how they coped.

**Quite a short chapter – a little under 2000 words, but I felt satisfied to leave it there. Next chapter out soon. Thank you to everybody reviewing.**


	4. The Explanation

**Another short one, but as I said, you'd rather have them short and often, right? Anyways, I'm quite satisfied with this. I apologise for any mistakes. Nobody beta reads for me and I don't really have the time to go through the chapter myself. I barely have the time to write them! Anyways, enjoy. **

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Toddler Troubles

**Chapter 4: The Explanation**

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The villagers seemed to sense the tension emanating from Nami and Franky when the pirates returned with their chief, and steered well clear of the foreigners. Golonzo muttered soft greetings to his people and they smiled and bowed respectfully. Nami looked around the villagers thoroughly this time around, her mind working like a freight train. A quick scan of the people around them showed no aged faces.

"Where exactly are you taking us?"

"We go see elder."

"Elder?" Nami echoed, "So there _are_ some old people around here."

"He pass the knowledge."

"So one guy stays old while the rest of you stay young?" Franky asked, as he lifted his sunglasses and looked around the village. "How long have you been alive, anyways?"

Golonzo glanced at the cyborg uncertainly, as though he hadn't expected the pirate to catch onto his village's way of life so quickly. "It is circle."

Nami and Franky shared a look and the cyborg shrugged. Golonzo struggled to find the words to explain their way of life better to the strangers.

"My people... have three elder." He stuttered out, searching for the right words. "Always have three."

"So there are three elders?" Nami repeated, and raised an eyebrow. "And I guess you will become one of the three elders when you grow old?"

"I _am _elder. I always _be_ elder." The native corrected. "This life not my first."

"The lake..." Nami muttered breathlessly, as she finally caught on to what the chief was trying to tell her. "You use the lake to make yourself young again, don't you?"

The tanned man nodded and Nami laughed breathlessly. "Unbelievable," she said finally, "So how old _are _you then? Just how long have you been alive?"

"I not know."

"What? You're so old you lost count?" Franky questioned in disbelief.

"No, I not know. You talk with elder."

Golonzo's words held a finality that stopped the straw hats' questions and they walked in silence through the small village to a small dirt path that wound deep into a tangled vine patch. The native moved through the vines with ease, as though he had done it a thousand times before, but Nami, and more so Franky with his bulky structure, struggled to follow. Golonzo waited for them through the tangle of vines and when they emerged, they found themselves in a spacious cave. A small fire crackled lazily in the middle of the hollowed room and tribal trinkets littered the walls and floor; on an animal pelt beside the fire, sat an old man.

"Elder," Golonzo spoke, his voice loud and firm. "I bring strangers."

"Strangers...?" A soft, raspy voice drifted back. "It has been many years since strangers entered this room, Golonzo, not since you last sat here."

"They come questions." The young chief continued, and the old native chuckled; a croaky sound that rattled into a hoarse cough.

"You have much to learn before your language skills return to what they were."

"Can you give us the answers we need?" Nami asked suddenly. It was obvious this man knew much more than the young chief beside them. "Our friends fell into the lake. We need to find a way to reverse what's happened to them."

"Nobody has ever wished to reverse the effects of the Chia Lalaki." The elder answered, as tired eyes settled on Nami's youthful face. "I am jealous of you, Golonzo. If it had been my rule I would have taken this strange woman for my wife."

Nami's cheeks burned red and she huffed indignantly. "Nobody takes me for anything, old man."

The elder laughed hoarsely again and Franky stepped forward. "Oi, old man," he questioned, "How come you speak out language so well?"

"Age brings knowledge, pirate. I will no longer speak to my young comrade in our native tongue, for he must learn the many tongues of the world so that he might speak with strangers that threaten or come upon our village."

"But you said he ruled before you," Nami interrupted, "Shouldn't he know them already?"

"He once did, but with his new years' comes new life."

"What exactly does that mean, old man?" Franky asked, a feeling of dread rising in his stomach.

"Your comrades have the chance for a new life. Their old one will be washed away, a mere smudge in time."

"What?" the blue haired man shouted.

"I do not know how to reverse the effects of the Chia Lalaki." The elder continued, ignorant of Franky's outburst. "There are stories of another lake – one which does that which you seek – however, none have found it."

"We will." Said Nami, tone firm. "Tell us about these stories, old man."

"As you wish."

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By the time the Robin had escorted her group through the forest, twilight had set in and the monster trio were sound asleep. Though they'd tried to mask it, it was obvious that the transformation they'd undergone had exhausted them. Chopper had been eager to examine all three as soon as they'd arrived back, but Robin had suggested he let them sleep on for a time whilst she explained the day's happenings to Brooke.

The crew had settled around the large dining table and with a little toddler juggling, Usopp settled with Luffy in his lap, Chopper in his human form with Zoro in his lap and Robin with Sanji in hers. Thankfully for the crew, Sanji had prepared a large stew pot the night before with enough stored the feed the crew for a couple of days. Robin busied her extra limbs in heating the nutritious food as she explained the situation to Brooke, and impressed her crewmates with her phenomenal multitasking skills.

Sanji was the first to stir from his slumber, as sleepy blue eyes fluttered open blearily. He looked around in a haze of confusion for a few seconds before he bolted upright from his slumped position in Robin's arms and looked around.

"I... fell asleep?" he mumbled softly, and then his eyes widened and he looked up at Robin. "You had to carry me all the way back, Robin-chan?"

The tiny chef looked mortified and Robin had to chuckle. "It was nothing, Sanji-san." She replied. "Here, you must be hungry, have some soup."

Several disembodied arms passed along a small bowl of soup until it was placed in front of Sanji and the blonde fought back a blush at the reversal of roles. "But Robin-chwan~," he crooned, "It should be me cooking for you~!" and the little blondes stomach rumbled in betrayal. "Though... a bite to eat does sound quite good."

Sanji tucked into his food as Luffy and Zoro slept on. Robin wrapped up her explanation to Brooke, which had been interrupted by Sanji's waking just as Nami and Franky could be heard as they boarded the ship. By now the sky was dark outside.

"Nami-swaaaan~!" Sanji cheered.

Nami looked from Sanji to Robin and pulled a disapproving face. "Robin, you shouldn't encourage him." She said.

"It's no trouble, Nami-san." The dark haired woman replied. She actually found the little chef and her other affected crewmates very cute. "Did you gather any information?"

"There's supposedly another lake – thank you." Nami explained, as she sat down and Robin passed her and Franky their own share of supper. "It reverses the effects, but nobody's ever seen it or made it there."

"Sounds like a challenge." Usopp spoke up.

"Since when do we ever back down from challenges?" Sanji retorted between mouthfuls of stew.

"It's supposed to be in one of the surrounding four islands, though they have no maps, no information, and no idea what might be inhabiting those islands." The red head sighed and listed her arms in a 'what-can-you-do' shrug. "However, there's another island to the east. It's not listed on the map, but it's small and uncharted according to the village elder. He said 'people like us' live there, so we might be able to get a little more information there. If nothing else, we should be able to buy these three some decent clothes."

"A fine idea." Robin answered, as she absorbed all of the information Nami had to offer. The two women exchanged a knowing look as Nami glanced from Sanji to Robin. There was more to be told, but it would have to wait until all of the crew were listening. "For now we should get some sleep and ready the ship for sail in the morning."

"The old guy said it was a half a day's sail away with a strong wind." Nami spoke, her words muffled by a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head. "And when we've restocked, we can set out on putting these idiots right again."

"Nami-swan doesn't mean that, right?" Sanji whined softly, on the verge of pouting. "Not about me anyway, right?"

"Yes, yes Sanji-kun, not about you." Nami answered with a dismissive flick of her hand.

Brooke set about storing Luffy's and Zoro's supper in the cooler and the rest of the crew readied themselves for bed. They decided amongst themselves that it would be best to keep the three affected crew members with somebody for the night, and Robin, who was to take first watch offered to keep one eye on the sea and one on the boys.

The weary crew settled down for the night.

Morning brought with it the rest of the explanation and with it the heavy reality that set in with the crew. Their three strongest were now almost helpless, with no guarantee they would be able to change back. On top of that, the affected crew members would slowly lose their memories. Sanji had seemed mortified at the thought and Zoro remained as stoic as ever. Luffy though, as always, took the new in his stride and ordered Nami to set sail for the next island so that they could find the lake soon.

For now things were still okay, and Luffy trusted his unaffected nakama to protect him, Sanji and Zoro whilst they were unable. As far as he was concerned, it was just like being in the after affects of gear third. It was nothing he hadn't experienced before and nothing he couldn't handle. For the captain of the Sunny-Go, it was just another big adventure unfolding.

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You guys will start noticing a fair few changes from here. I'm shuffling around ideas and such from the old version. Thanks for all the reviews and support. I try to reply to everyone and I'm very sorry if I miss you.


	5. Babysitting

**I know it's been ages, but it really can't be helped. I don't have as much time on the computer as I'd like and life is pretty complicated at the moment. Please enjoy, nonetheless **

**I'd like to thank everybody that took the time to review. It's the reviews that remind me "oh hey, I need to update that". As always if anybody would like the original version of Toddler Troubles, please don't hesitate to ask. I won't be offended. If you've asked and I've not sent it yet, much apologies, please ask again ;)**

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**Chapter 5: Babysitting**

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Sanji sighed and placed a tiny, pale hand on his chest in search of a pocket that wasn't there in a shirt he wasn't wearing. They had yet to arrive at the new island to resupply. Hopefully they would also be able to get their hand on some new clothes to accommodate the recent changes in their smaller crewmembers so they were wearing peg-clipped towels as makeshift robes. That wasn't what was bothering the little blonde though – oh no, not at all – his problem was the lack of cigarettes. That sweet intoxicated drug that made most things seem less intense than they were was something Sanji now had to go without.

He'd first craved a smoke when he'd woken that morning, and had instinctively routed out the pack of cigarettes tucked in the drawer beside his bed. It was early – the sun had barely begun to peek over the horizon – and this time of day was Sanji's favourite. He could enjoy the first calming puff of the day without hassle from moss headed lumps, hyperactive children or rubber idiots whilst he imagined all the ways he could serve the delightful ladies aboard the ship. Today however, things didn't go according to plan.

Chopper had spent the night researching the sample of the lake water they'd taken. He'd heard the chef rise and begin his regular morning routine, and despite the footfalls softness, barely making a 'clop' against the wood of the deck, it was still all Sanji. The little reindeer, now taller than his three "patients", quickly ran to greet his shipmate and give him a brief check-up to make sure no further changes had occurred overnight. By the time he got to Sanji, the pint-sized blonde already had a cigarette clasped between his lips and was in the process of lighting it. Chopper just about shrieked and Sanji, who had been sat along Sunny's rail, yelped and nearly toppled off into the sea below. The following lengthy lecture was enough to deter the little chef from attempting to light up again – in front of Chopper at least.

Zoro was the next to wake, followed shortly by the remaining crew members. They had walked up halfway through the smoking lecture and much to Sanji's humiliation had watched the remainder. Robin exited the galley then, much to Sanji's surprise, arms laden with a simple array of sandwiches and snacks for their breakfast. The small blonde fussed over Robin taking over his duty and how a woman should be the one waited on, but the archaeologist merely smiles and offered him a sandwich, which he gladly took in a flurry of gushing hearts. The crew ate on deck with subdued, drowsy discussion and then went about their tasks for the day.

The thing that surprised the Sanji the most as the day progressed, was the fact that he didn't seem to have any physical cravings for the smokes, nor withdrawal from not having one. The craving was purely a psychological habit. Though whether it was physical or mental, he wanted a smoke, damn it; and nothing was going to stop him from getting one.

Stealthy as a cat, the little cook slinked his way towards the pile of discarded clothes Usopp had dumped on the deck the night before. For once he was grateful he lived with a bunch of slobs (excluding his beautiful ladies, of course), as he crouched beside his oversized cotton shirt and patted a tiny hand along the fabric in search of his smokes. Silently he cursed his exceptional taste in clothing as he struggles to locate the pocket amongst the bold patterns on the shirt.

Zoro, who had been taking his usual after-breakfast-before-training-nap, cracked an eye open as he heard the quiet rustling. He watched Sanji for a few seconds before it dawned on him what the tiny chef was doing. A wicked smirk crossed the swordsman's face. This would be fun.

"Oi, love-cook!" he yelled, and Sanji winced at the loud, albeit squeaky pitch of his voice. The blonde glared at Zoro fiercely, a silent warning to keep his trap shut, but Zoro's smirk merely widened. "What are you looking for?" he asked innocently.

Sanji's face reddened with fury and shame as Nami, who had been the only other person on-deck, approached him. Chopper had already informed the crew of Sanji's smoking ban (not that he had to after witnessing the lecture) and Sanji felt like a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

"Sanji-kun," Nami scolded, though as she caught the shamed colouring to the blonde's cheeks that he tried to mask with an enthusiastic smile to her approach, her tone softened. "We already told you, you don't have to wait on us whilst you're like this." She said, and quickly gathered up the clothes from the floor before she plucked Sanji's shirt from tiny fingers. "I'll take care of these."

"N-Nami-san... that... that's really not necessa-" the little blonde stuttered out, and made a desperate attempt to reclaim his patterned, baby blue shirt from the day before. Chubby fingers clasped the tail of the shirt desperately.

"It's no trouble at all." Nami pressed, and with a pleasant smile and a gentle touch, untangled the little fingers from the fabric and snatched the chefs last hoped of getting his hands on a smoke. She turned tail and walked away to dump the clothes into laundry and dispose of the cigarettes.

Sanji watched her leave with an expression that would make you think he'd just been told all female life on earth had been wiped out. Tiny hands clenched angrily into fists as the blonde whirled around and glared heatedly at the ships swordsman. Sapphire blue eyes sparked with fury. "You!" he spat out.

Zoro remained seated, his back against Sunny's mast, with that infuriating, satisfied smirk plastered on his face. He sat up a little as Sanji stomped his way towards him (although with his current size it sounded little more like a pitter-patter).

"Got a problem, dart-brow?"

"Ma..ri.._mo_!" Sanji growled out. "Why the hell'd you do that?"

"Just following doctor's orders." Zoro replied smugly.

"Since when do you follow doctors-_fucking_-orders?"

Zoro's innocent act wasn't fooling anybody, especially not Sanji.

"Got a problem, Cook?"

"Damn fucking right I have! Shitty Marimo!"

"Shitty cook!"

"_Baby_!"

Zoro's cheeks flared red at the name, and he stood up, face to face with Sanji. "You want a fight?" he yelled, his higher voice less than threatening.

"Bring it on!"

Sanji lifted his leg in preparation to kick Zoro in his hard Marimo head and Zoro grabbed at Wadou, the only sword he left on him, tied around his waist by a piece of rope acting as a make-shift belt. Unfortunately for both boys, their new bodies didn't work quite the way they expected them to. As Zoro attempted to draw Wadou from its sheath, he found the katana too heavy and upon pushing himself harder to swing the blade, he overbalanced and wound up spinning in a circle, which tangled his legs as he tumbled clumsily to the floor. At the same time, as Sanji threw his little leg into the air, he yelped as his muscles, no longer his own, protested against the movement and the blonde lost his footing and fell flat on his ass.

Both boys blinked stupidly before they scrambled to their feet and made another run at each other, not willing to give up in their attacks. Sanji was the first to make a move, but his new body once again protested at his movements. It no longer held the flexibility that came so naturally to the cook and with a pained yelp his foot planted on the ground slipped from under him and he fell face first onto the deck.

The swordsman wasn't having much luck ether. Now having no target to hit and not having the sharp reflexes he was so used to, he was too caught up in the momentum and ran straight into the mast with a sickening crack.

Both boys stumbled to their feet with grunts and groans of pain, holding their noses and glaring daggers. The twin blushes on their faces was the only evidence that either knew that something was wrong. Once again they charged at each other, unwilling to admit defeat, but before either could reach their targets two arms blossomed from the deck on front of them and grabbed them by their collars, lifted them from the deck and suspended both little bodies in the air.

Zoro was _not_ happy.

"Oi!" Zoro cried, as he flailed in a futile attempt to free himself. "Let me go!"

Sanji however, was a different story.

"Robin-chwan~!" he squealed. "Is there something you need?"

"I don't mean to ruin your fun," the dark haired woman spoke, her voice soft and calm. "But if you're not quiet you're going to wake Luffy-san."

Both boys stopped their flailing and looked at the prone form of their captain, resting comfortably on Robin's deck chair – in Robin's lap. A growl escaped Sanji throat, but was quickly silenced as Robin addressed him.

"There's no need to worry Sanji-san," she assured, "I invited him to share the chair after he almost fell from the figurehead. He seems to need a fair bit more sleep in his current form, so if you don't mind..."

More arms blossomed from across the deck and the miniature cook and swordsman were passed across from arm to arm by their collars until they were sat at opposite ends of the deck. Both released a few more grumbles under their breath, Zoro's directed at Robin and Sanji's at Zoro, but didn't attempt another fight again. One had been embarrassing enough. Zoro was just glad Nami wasn't here to see the display or she would have blackmail material for life, and for once Sanji agreed with him; knowing their luck though, Robin would be sure to share every detail with the evil woman. His whole manly visage would have been ruined had Nami of seen that.

Reluctantly, the two miniature crew members settled down in their respective corners. Robin kept a watchful eye over the two, and though Zoro quickly settled back into a nap, lulled by the warm afternoon sun, Sanji remained fidgety and restless. Before long the island was in sight though. Robin stood, lifting her slumbering captain in one fluid motion so he could rest against her shoulder. She's always been fond of children and couldn't deny she was enjoying caring for the three, even though she didn't seem to be enjoying it too much themselves.

Sanji jumped up as he saw Robin stand and trotted to her side like a faithful puppy. "Is it time, Robin-chwan?" he asked, excitement shining in his eyes. Hopefully his beloved Nami-san would be able to find a tailor that could alter the clothes he picked to accommodate his new size.

"Mm!" Robin answered with a nod and a smile. With a flourish of her free arm, several more blossomed from the deck towards Zoro and easily passed the napping toddler her way. Sanji resisted the urge to pout as both Luffy and Zoro snoozed on Robin's shoulders and tried to focus on the possibility of not wearing an oversized shirt as a dress in the very near future.

Franky, Brooke and Usopp busied themselves with the docking of the ship as Nami prepared their rations of money and planned their day. Chopper in the meantime readied a pack of medical supplies as always in case there were any accidents or attacks. If there was one thing the little reindeer had learned, it was to never let your guard down no matter how docile an island may seem.

Franky finished typing the sails and descended to the deck, blinking as he found Nico Robin waiting for him with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Franky-san," she greeted sweetly, "I'm sure you wouldn't mind carrying Sanji-san on our visit to the island?"

"Ah... well... about that..." Franky replied with a panicked look to his face. Sanji looked just as crestfallen at the archaeologist's words.

"But Robin-chan...!" he whined, "I don't need anybody to carry me! I can walk just fine beside you!"

Robin ignored Sanji's protests and kept her gaze fixed on the cyborg. Franky began to sweat; he knew Nico Robin was not a woman to mess with. "Sanji-san has no shoes yet, you see." She explained, that sweet tone never once lifting from her voice. It chilled both the cyborg and the little chef with its promise of death or worse – castration! – should it meet with defiance.

"Now hold one a minute, Nico Robin!" the blue haired man argued, "I walk around with no shoes and my feet are just fine!"

In truth, Franky didn't want to be anywhere near his miniaturised crewmates. He was used to roughhousing with his "brothers" and their sudden fragility and tininess worried him – what if he stepped on one of them? Robin smiles at the uncertain look on Franky's face, but didn't give him a chance to argue as several extra pairs of hands materialised from the cyborg's body and hoisted the little blonde up and into his barrelled arms.

"Thank you, Franky-san." Robin said with a sweet smile ad she turned and headed off in search of her next victim. Sanji and Franky were left staring warily at each other, neither wanting the others closeness, neither daring to protest. Robin literally had eyes and ears, and more importantly _hands_ everywhere. It just wasn't worth the risk.

Robin in the meantime had set her sights on her next victim. Chopper was securing his back pack when Robin walked in, arms laden with the ship's captain and swordsman. By now said swordsman was awake and grumpily glaring at the dark haired woman.

"Are you ready to set out Chopper-kun?" Robin asked. "We're planning to split into groups, so I was hoping you wouldn't mind taking Zoro-san with you?"

"Ah, Robin!" Chopper greeted in return, "Just Zoro?"

"I trust you to take care of him." Robin replied, chuckling softly as the little reindeer started to squirm. Hook, line and sinker. It really was too easy sometimes.

"It doesn't make me happy _at all _that you trust me! Not one bit!"

Robin set the small swordsman onto the deck. "Thank you," she said, as she headed onto her final victims of the day. "Oh," and she turned around. "I think it might be best if you stay in your reindeer form whilst we visit the island. We wouldn't want to attract any unwanted attention as we are."

"Un!" Chopper noised back and smiled. "Zoro can ride on my back!"

Robin chuckled and offered Chopper a small wave before she headed off in search of her final victims. She rounded them up with a couple of disembodied taps on the shoulder and signal to meet her on the ramp lowered to the island. As soon as they approached her, she unceremoniously dumped her slumbering captain into Usopp's arms and smiled pleasantly.

"Don't let him nap too long." She said and turned around to leave. "Or you'll be babysitting him when he can't sleep tonight."

"Eh?" Usopp noised, and looked to Brooke by his side. "Eh?"

"Yoho?"

"Be good, boys~!" Nami lilted as she linked arms with Robin and the two women escaped towards the small town, leaving the boys to babysit. The other two pairs had already headed off their own ways and Usopp shrugged.

"Looks like it's us today, Usopp-san! Yohoho~!"

"How come Nami and Robin don't have to babysit?" Usopp whined as the two exited the ship and headed into town.

"Fathers should also bond with their children, Usopp-san." Brooke replied, very seriously.

"LIKE HELL THAT'S THE REASON!" Usopp yelled back, and jumped when Luffy startled awake in his arms. "Eh?"

"Ah?" the little rubber toddler noised and rubbed his eyes sleepily before they widened as he realised where they were. "ISLAND! Island! Island! Island! Island! Island! Islaaaaand! Usopp, island!"

"This... is gonna be a long day."

"Yohohoho~!"

* * *

**Okay, there we go, chapter 5. Certainly took me long enough, didn't it, though most of this chapter is actually new content. Please don't forget to review if you enjoyed it and thank you to everybody that has so far. I'll try to keep the updates coming, but like I said to people, if I don't feel like writing I simply one This is a leisurely thing for me to do and if I stop enjoying it, I won't write.**

**Much thanks to all who take the time to let me know how much they love this fic. I do appreciate each and every PM that is sent to me, and it inspires me to keep writing, even through the worst times. More toddler cuteness and hilarity on the way. I'm overflowing with new ideas for this fic ;)**


	6. Troublesome Toddlers

**Thank you very much to all who reviewed the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one. ****I'm a little unhappy with how the ending went here, but I'm happy with everything else. I had such fun writing this chapter. Enjoy the all-new content! None of this chapter was in the original!**

* * *

**Toddler Troubles**

**Chapter 6: Troublesome Toddlers**

* * *

For such a small island, the market place was bustling with activity and people. Local stalls sold fresh fruit and fish whilst others haggled off lengths of material for clothing and bedding. Much to Nami's disappointment, there were none that offered readymade clothes for her miniaturised shipmates.

"It looks like I have no other choice, Robin-neechan," the thief muttered and sighed dramatically. "I'll have to have these altered."

Nami pulled a sack she had been carrying from her shoulder to the floor and delved her hand into the mess of clothing inside. She returned with the torn up remains of one of Zoro's white shirts and her lips twisted in distaste. "It'll be cheaper this way." She explained.

"Perhaps we should explore a little more?" Robin suggested with relaxed smile. "With such high local trade it's bound to be a fair bit cheaper than most of the towns we've been to."

Nami nodded and stuffed the tattered garment into the sack again. The clothes were unsalvageable for her full sized crew mates, and often resigned to be torn up for makeshift bandages or washcloths. With their current sizes though, the navigator was pretty sure the shirts at least could be recycled into new – hopefully temporary – clothes. Linking her free arm with Robin's once more, she smirked as they set off again, her eyes twinkling with the challenge of finding the cheapest deal.

* * *

Usopp wondered how he got lumbered with the job of babysitting _Luffy_. He definitely pulled the short straw. Zoro would probably just sleep all day and Sanji would probably be too depressed about not being with the girls to do anything but mope. Luffy on the other hand...

"What's that? Ou! Meat! Usopp, meat! I want meat! Brooke get me some me—A DOG! Brooke! Look at that dog!"

"A fine looking dog, Luffy-san!"

And if Luffy wasn't bad enough, he had a walking skeleton beside him asking any passing girls if he could see their panties. Yep. He definitely pulled the short straw.

"Can we keep it, Usopp?"

"Eh? What?"

"The dog."

"No."

"Can we eat it?"

"What? No!"

"Can we play with it?"

"No."

"I want to play with it!"

"Well _tough_!" the sniper sneered and leaned over to where his toddler captain rested comfortably in Brooke's arms. "I'm _bigger_ than you, so what _I _say goes!" he finished by pulling a face and grabbing Luffy's cheeks, stretching them.

"What a mean mama!" came a sudden cry from behind the tanned teen and he whirled around, shocked.

"Hah...?" he noised.

A mother and her child stood not bar behind him, the child looking upset and the mother wearing a scowl. "How cruel." The mother scolded. "How can you call yourself a mother?"

Usopp looked to his left, then his right and slowly raised a hand, finger erect, directed at himself incredulously. "M...Me?"

"I'm glad I have a mama like you, Mama!" the child cried, a small girl, not much bigger than Luffy. She clung to her mother's leg, small hands fisted in the woman's dress as she continued to glare at Usopp.

"I didn't – I mean, I'm not – he's not my-" Usopp spluttered, and turned a glare at his skeleton friend as a muffled 'yohoho' slipped out. The afro sporting pirates laugh was swiftly cut short though as the ruffled mother turned her outrage on him.

"And you!"

Brooke turned his vacant eyes the woman's way. "Hm?"

"What kind of father are _you_? Letting your wife treat your beautiful baby in such a way! A baby is a gift from God and should be treated with the greatest gentleness!"

Brooke looked down at his little captain. "Luffy-san..." he breathed, the woman's word hitting a chord inside of him. "I've failed you, Luffy-san." He spoke, and straightened, lifting the toddler to eye level. "Never again!"

"Uh, Brooke...?" Usopp mumbled, confused by his nakama's sudden actions.

"No, Usopp-san!" Brooke defended, and clutched the rubber baby to his chest. "This fine lady is right! What kind of example are we setting for Luffy-san? What kind of father am I being...?"

"You're _not_ his father, you idiot!"

"A child out of wedlock?" the mother gasped, and turned back on Usopp. "You should be on your knees thanking this man for his devotion to your child!"

"It's not like that!" Usopp wailed. "He's not my son!"

"Then you're abusing somebody else's child? That's even worse!"

"My lady," Brooke interrupted, and bowed politely, tipping his top hat to the woman. "I apologise for my companion. I have seen the error of my ways thanks to you. I will strive to be the best father I can to Luffy-san!"

The woman's scowl faded to a soft smile at Brooke's words. "The world needs more men like you." She answered.

"You are too kind, madam. Ah, but there is one thing, if I could just ask?"

"Please do."

"Can I see your panties?"

The crack of a heavy handed slap resounded throughout the marketplace with the echoed scream of 'pervert' loud enough to cause Usopp to grab his little captain and flee before the woman decided to turn all Nami on him too. Luffy laughed, finding it all hilarious.

* * *

"Are you sure this is the right way, Zoro?" Chopper asked and turned to look at the pint sized swordsman on his back as he clopped along the dirt path that led away from the market.

"I'm telling you that woman said this way."

"I can buy the herbs in the market place though..."

"Look, the more money we save that bitch, the less she'll kill us, alright?"

"But I don't think—"

"Giddieup!"

"Eh...?"

"I said..." Zoro repeated and grabbed a fistful of Choppers fur, and gave it a hard pull accompanied with a kick from both heels to the reindeer's sides. "GIDDIEUP!"

Chopper let out a snort of shock at the kick. It wasn't that strong, and though the little reindeer was often more human than animal, the brush of Zoro's heels along his flank sent a flight urge to strong to ignore as he bolted down the dirt path towards the mountains.

* * *

A heavy, awkward silence settled between Franky and Sanji as the cyborg wandered through the market. Numerous people stared their way as the disproportionate man strode confidently along the street with a small toddler settled on his barrel arm.

"You can put me down, y'know." Sanji muttered for the fifth time since they'd left.

"Like I said last time, bro. I'm not getting in trouble with the girls by bringing you back with your feet all cut up." Franky replied. "Now, where can we get something to eat around here?"

"Do you even have any money?"

"Do I need any? I'm a pirate."

"Good point."

The heavy silence returned with a vengeance until a shrill squeal shocked both pirates and a village girl came hurtling towards Franky. The blue haired man braced himself for an attack (or a slap) that never came, and instead felt the light weight of his shrunken crewmate lifted from his arm.

"Ohhh! He's so cute~!" the girl cried, and was joined by one of her friends. Both proceeded to take turns hugging the little blonde to their chests, much to the chef's delight. "Is he your son?"

"Ah, well," Franky stuttered, not sure whether he should concoct a lie or tell the truth. "Ah... my... brother."

"Brother?" the second girl questioned as she snatched Sanji from her friend and smooshed him to her chest.

"Ah... yeah." Franky mumbled and scratched the back of his head. "Different fathers."

The girl seemed sceptical, but shrugged and turned her attention back to Sanji. The blonde was sure he must have died and gone to heaven. "Mellorine~!" he sang out dreamily.

"Look, miss, is there anywhere me and my... _brother _can get something to eat around here?"

"Let me hold him a little longer and I'll show you where the inn is." The girl promised and squeezed Sanji a little harder.

Franky contemplated the offer and shrugged. Sanji seemed happy enough and these girls might be able to get him a discount. Them holding him also meant Franky didn't have to, and so the cyborg nodded. He had a feeling his female shipmates wouldn't be so happy if they spotted the blonde taking advantage of his new body, but he figured Nami was probably busy elsewhere beating a deal out of some local dealer to restock their supplies and obtain clothing for the three kids.

* * *

Nami heaved a sigh and smiled as she lifted a tiny shirt into the air, just modified and fit for Sanji's new size. "I think that's all of them." She said, and turned to Robin for confirmation. The black haired woman nodded with a pleasant smile. Nami folded the shirt and placed it neatly inside the sack. With the cheap prices – and Nami's superior haggling skills – she'd even managed to get a few new pieces made along with a pair of shoes for each of her affected crewmembers.

"There's still some time left – would you like a coffee, Nami-san?" Robin offered.

"Some tea and cake would be lovely. I saw an inn a little ways back." Nami replied as the two women left the small shop they'd discovered not far from the marketplace and started the walk back the way they'd come. "I wonder how the boy's are doing?"

"I'm sure they're fine." Robin answered and chuckled. "After all, our most troublesome crewmembers aren't quite themselves right now."

"True!" Nami laughed along with Robin, but stopped suddenly, looking confused.

"Nami-san?"

"Did you hear that just now?"

"Hm?"

The bush beside Nami rustled and skeletal hand burst out and grabbed her ankle. Nami shrieked in terror and kicked out at the offending hand.

"Whoa! Whoa! Nami!" a familiar voice suddenly called, and an even more familiar straw hat popped out from the top of the bush, followed by Luffy's head as Usopp's nose slinked out from the front. Brooke's expressionless skull soon followed suit. "It's us!"

"IDIOTS!" Nami screamed and punched the two 'adults' over the head. "Just what the hell were you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?"

"OWWWW! Nami!" Usopp whined and clutched his head, turning to glare at his captain as Luffy laughed.

"Nami!" the tiny captain grinned, "Today has been so interesting! A little girl told Usopp he's a terrible mother and we had to find some milk for Brooke after her mama beat him up!"

"You... what?" Nami questioned, completely bewildered by her captain's lacking explanation. She sighed heavily and rubbed her head as she felt the familiar 'Luffy' headache building. "You know what? Never mind. You must be hungry, let's get something to eat before we head back."

"Yahoo! Food!" Luffy cheered.

Usopp and Brooke were a little more cautious as they gingerly stood and looked around in case that woman or her child was still around. Seeing the coast was clear the two pirates stepped out from their hiding bush and followed Nami towards the inn.

The atmosphere inside the building was loud and bustling. A mixture of rowdy fishermen and grubby farmers lined the stools at the bar whilst a number of older men dotted themselves about the inn. They gave the newcomers an odd glance or two as they entered, but Nami, used to such stares with such a variety among her crew, ignored them and led the way to an unoccupied table. As they sat, she scanned the room for some sign of a waiter to determine if she'd have to go up and order their food and drinks herself, but instead blinked as she recognised a very familiar swirl of blue hair.

"Franky?"

Said cyborg flinched at the mention of his name and slowly turned, a nervous sweat droplet rolling lazily down the size of his angled face. "Ah, Nami!"He greeted and let out a nervous laugh a he scratched the back of his head. "What are you doing here?"

Nami's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Probably the same as you." She replied and stood from her seat. Franky seemed to grow more nervous at this action and stood quickly to intercept the navigator before she could reach his table.

"Ah, is it time to head back to the ship? Haha! How time flies!" the shipwright blurted, and bulldogged Nami as she tried to side step him. "I'll just grab Sanji and we can—"

"Where _is _Sanji-kun, exactly?" the redhead asked, arms folding across her chest as he fingers tapped successively against her forearm. It looked innocent, but Franky swallowed nervously. He knew Nami was getting pissed.

"Just here," he answered, with as steady a voice as he could muster. He jerked an oversized thumb over his shoulder towards the chair he'd just been sitting in. Nami seemed to calm at the cyborg's confident performance.

"Well," she explained as her posture relaxed. "We're grabbing a bite to eat here and then we're heading back. We got everything we needed."

Nami turned as if to rejoin the rest of the crew, but blinked when the soft call of 'mellorine~' floated through the air followed by a high pitched giggle. Franky swallowed nervously as he watched her back muscles tense and her fists clench. He glanced between the table he'd been sitting at and the navigator warily. They had been tucked in a corner, a beam blocking the little chef from view. If he'd just kept his mouth shut...!

Nami turned to face Franky once again, frown set firmly in place and fingers drumming her forearm once again. "Move."

Franky didn't need telling twice as he scooted out of Nami's way. There was only so much you could do for a brother after all. Nami walked forward calmly and a sickeningly sweet smile stretched across her face. "Oh, how nice!" she cooed, "What lovely girls you are for looking after my Sanji-kun!"

The two girls, who had been passing the toddler between them, smooshing him to their breasts in squishy cuddles blinked up at the stranger. One of them suddenly beamed. "Oh! You must be his mother!"

"You got it!" Nami replied and held out her arms.

The girl holding the little blonde pouted, but lifted Sanji from her bosom. "He's just so cute!" she cooed.

"Isn't he?" Nami agreed and reached out for the boy. Sanji by now had snapped out of his breast induced stupor and was gazing at Nami, wide eyes full of terror. To anybody that didn't know Nami, her smile was sweet and kind, but to Sanji that expression promised death. He gripped the teenage girl's shirt in a desperate last ditch attempt to prevent his inevitable fate.

"Ohhh! Look!" the second girl laughed. "He doesn't want to go!"

"Aww!" the first squealed, and smiled. With a firm yank the little blonde was dislodged from her chest and Sanji whimpered as he was passed into Nami's waiting arms. Any other time he would have been ecstatic, but as the redheads talons closed around him he gazed forlornly at his crewmates. They silently prayed for their doomed chef as Nami bid farewell to the girl and walked back their way.

"We're leaving." She snapped.

"But what about the food?" Luffy whined, miserably. He hadn't had one bit of meat since all of this started. "I want steak!"

"We're _leaving_!" Nami barked and Luffy pouted as Usopp covered his rubbery mouth with his hand. Their chef was already doomed; they didn't need the same fate for their captain. Wordlessly, like scolded children, the crew gathered their things and skulked back to the docks in tow behind Nami.

* * *

Chopper panted as he ascended the last steep, rocky ledges to the highest point of the island. His legs quivered with the effort.

"Z...Zoro..." he gasped. "I need a... break..."

"Breaks are for sissies." The pint-sized swordsman retorted, his fingers still clasped tightly around a hunk of Choppers fur. "You don't need a break! You just _think _you do."

"I... need water!" Chopper panted and turned to face the toddler miserably.

They stared each other down for a few seconds that seemed like a few hours. "What about the herbs?" Zoro finally asked.

"The... herbs?" Chopper repeated. In the frenzy of his flight instincts, he'd completely forgotten about the herbs he'd intended to collect.

"It'll be dark soon and we still haven't found them."

"But... we can just buy them in town." Chopper whined.

"What kind of attitude is that?" Zoro shouted suddenly and Chopper flinched. "You should treat everything in life as a challenge!"

"A challenge?"

"Something you can use to grow stronger. You should run like a stallion... a noble steed!"

Chopper could feel a blush rising in his cheeks. "A... noble steed?" he repeated, a giddy tone to his voice as he finally caught his breath.

"Now, let's go!"

"I..."

"Giddieup, Chopper!"

The little reindeer felt a flame burst to life in his chest. Zoro was right! He couldn't just watch his crewmates grow, he had to strengthen himself, and Zoro was so strong – he had to know what was best. His front hoof beat the ground as he straightened his body and raised his head high. With a roar, he reared onto his hind legs and kicked at the air with his front before he leapt forward into a sprint.

_Noble Steed!_

* * *

It was early evening by the time Chopper made it back to the ship, legs as rubbery as Luffy's, pack empty of herbs and tongue lolling from his mouth.

"Chopper!" Usopp greeted as his brow lifted at the sight of his companion. "Where have you been?"

The reindeer shakily climbed the ramp to the ship before he collapsed to the deck, panting hard. "N...Noble...st...eed...!"

"Eh...?" the marksman noised and blinked at the reindeer before he turned to Zoro, hoping for a better explanation. Zoro climbed off of the fallen reindeer with a yawn and absently patted his shoulder. "Not bad, Chopper." He acknowledged and headed off in search of dinner.

"O-Oi!" Usopp called after him. "What happened?"

"Ah?" Zoro noised, and then shrugged. "He got lost."

Usopp's eye twitched. Somehow he doubted that was the case. He couldn't help but grin though, as he helped the reindeer upright again and offered him some water. The little brat would get his just desserts. He'd seen what Nami and Robin bought that day. He chuckled wickedly.


	7. Playing Dress Up

**Well, this one took me longer than I would have liked, but there were a hell of a lot of kinks to move around which were frustrating me, and like I said, I'm writing for pleasure, not stress. Nevertheless, I hope it pleases!**

**Toddler Troubles**

**Chapter 7: Dress Up**

The Thousand Sunny was eerily quiet that evening. Robin busied herself in the kitchen, despite Sanji's protests, preparing a meal for the crew. The dark haired woman brushed away Sanji's insistence on cooking like a troublesome fly. The cook was left feeling dejected, but quickly perked up when she mentioned that Nami would want to see him shortly. The fiery navigator hadn't spoken to him since the afternoon when she's caught him with those girls, and for whatever reason she may want him, he would be happy to bask himself in her company again. He wouldn't pass up the chance to make amends with his sweet Nami-swan.

Chopper was dozing in the infirmary after his day as a noble steed and Usopp sat close by, reading an old fantasy book he'd picked up in the market before he met that monstrous woman and her brat child. Honestly! He didn't look like a woman at all! He was the _Great Captain Usopp!_

...didn't she know that?

Either way, he was determined to keep out of the way for the next couple of hours until their dinner was ready. He could feel the evil aura emanating from Nami's cabin from here. When that woman got near clothes, all men knew to stay away. Even Sanji knew to steer clear of his beloved navigator when she was with the cloth. Who knew what horrors awaited his miniaturised crewmates in that room? Either way, he had a feeling Sanji would be the first to fall. The blonde was desperate to make amends for his _atrocious un-gentlemanly behaviour _this afternoon.

Usopp rolled his eyes at the thought. Who was Sanji kidding really? He was a chivalrous guy, but when he was alone with the guys, he competed to see who could fart the loudest and wettest of them all just like the rest of them. The sniper glanced to Chopper, sleeping peacefully on one of the infirmary bed and smiled. They would have their revenge for the hell those little brats put them through today, too; not just Nami. With a contented sigh, the sharpshooter turned back to the weathered pages of his fantasy novel.

Franky was laying low below deck, tweaking his gadgets and docking system mini ships. He'd had an earful from the navigator to accompany the head full of lumps she'd given him. He knew what was coming for his little bros, but on this ship ever man knew that is was every man for himself when one for the women was plotting. He could hear a soft melody from elsewhere in the ship, Brooke's violin singing out a sorrowful tune. He expected the skeleton man was just as cautious as the rest of the men at this time. Wisely, he turned his attention back to his machines. It wouldn't be long now.

The door to Nami's cabin opened with a soft creak and the navigator stepped out and surveyed the deck for her victims. She raised an eyebrow as the eerily quiet and vacant area before she rolled her eyes. Honestly, what did they think she was going to do – _kill _them? Well, if they wouldn't come to her, she would just have round them up herself.

"Oh, Sanji-kun~?" Nami called softly as she turned tail and returned to her cabin. She knew he would come.

The little blonde perked up instantly from where he had been slumped at the dining room table as a hopeful smile stretched across his face. He didn't waste any time as he trotted as fast as his smaller legs would carry him to where his beloved waited. He came to a tentative stop outside her open door and peeked inside.

"Did... you call, Nami-san?" he asked, hopefully.

"Mm!" Nami replied with a nod and smiled widely at the little blonde. "Come in, Sanji-kun." She prompted and shifted over a little on her bed. "And shut the door behind you."

Sanji swallowed thickly, his heart hammering in his chest. Was Nami... coming onto him? But why now? Now where... they couldn't _do_ anything!

"Undress." Nami ordered, simply.

Sanji's eyes bulged. "B-But Nami-san!" he protested, weakly. "I couldn't... I mean... we... we should wait!" the chef fidgeted awkwardly, a deep blush staining his cheeks. How could he explain to her that he wasn't _quite _the man he had been a few days earlier?

"It's nothing I haven't seen before, Sanji-kun." Nami answered blandly, and lifted a small button up shirt for the chef to see.

"Oh!" he breathed, at first with relief and then with an obvious disappointment. "Oh..."

"What did you _think_ I wanted to you undress for?" Nami asked with a raised eyebrow, un-amused.

"N-Nothing!" the little blonde lied through his shaky grin and moved closer to the bed. He blinked as Nami pressed the small button up shirt to him and surveyed the size. He waited patiently for her to complete her assessment.

"Good. It's just a little too big, but that should keep them comfortable."

"Nami-san is so smart~!" the blonde cooed gently.

He watched as Nami arranged several items of clothing onto her bed and smoothed the wrinkled out of each one. Some he recognised as his own clothes altered to accommodate his new size. Others were entirely new and he felt a gentle flush rise in his cheeks as he spotted some of the _cuter_ designs Nami had picked out. They weren't manly at all! He would get hell from Zoro if he even _considered _wearing such clothes? But then... his precious Nami-san had bought these clothes for him, and if he didn't wear them he would surely insult her... or wind up dead. Either way, teasing from Zoro seemed the better option.

Nami handed him a small pair of boxers and waited expectantly for him to try them on, but he didn't move. He looked from the boxers to himself, to Nami and then repeated before he finally looked up at Nami with an awkward expression.

"Um… could you…" he muttered, and made a circle motion with his finger. Nami's eyebrow rose at the silent request for her to turn around so he could change in private.

"I didn't think you were the modest type Sanji-kun." Nami stated, and lifted her hands to cover her eyes.

"Well, I'm not really _normal _right now Nami-san." Sanji muttered back as he quickly slipped out of his makeshift clothes and into the boxers. "Okay, I'm done."

Nami turned back around and instantly cooed at the little chef. Sanji couldn't deny he enjoyed the attention. Nami continued to treat him like a living doll for the next hour as she coaxed him into one outfit after another until she was sure they all fit him comfortably. After all, she didn't want to have wasted any money and if there were any mistakes, she could take them back to the shop and have them altered before they left the island.

Finally the two emerged from her cabin. Sanji walked out comfortably, dressed in a smart pair of trousers (altered from a tattered pair of his own) and a simple yellow T-shirt with a bold red love heart stitched into the front. It was a little different from his usual smart shirts, but T-shirts were cheaper and Sanji hoped his current predicament was temporary.

Zoro, who had woken from a short nap on deck (the deck having been deemed a safe area again once Nami was occupied with Sanji) surveyed the chefs clothes critically. The blonde didn't seem stressed or uncomfortable. He definitely looked much better in the smaller clothes than the old blanket from before. He locked eyes with Nami and scowled when she curled her finger repeatedly in a 'come here' motion. Any other time he would have returned her finger gesture with his own, but he figured he would have to face her sometime so he may as well get it over with. If Sanji could survive her little dress up games without a fuss it would be a breeze for him.

Nami was a little surprised when Zoro came to her without a fuss. She smiled wickedly as she led him to her cabin. She should be finished just in time for dinner. This was going to be fun.

It didn't take long for the screaming to start, a colourful array of curses muffled by the closed door to Nami's cabin. Luffy, who had spent the majority of the evening napping after his eventful day on the island, was now sat on deck with Robin. The archaeologist had prepared a simply stew for the crew and had left it to simmer whilst she read a book quietly beside the mikan groves. Luffy munched enthusiastically on an orange beside her, distracted by the delicious fruit. Normally Nami wouldn't allow her bottomless pit of a captain to eat from her groves without permission, but the little rubber ball had been waiting for something to eat all day and it was a while before dinner would be ready. Robin had peeled him two fair sized fruits to keep him content until then.

They sat quietly together, Luffy's attention fixed on the infuriated (albeit muffled) cries of rage from his first mate. He chewed thoughtfully on a segment of orange.

"Naa, Robin?"

"Yes, Luffy-san?" Robin answered without taking her eyes from the book.

"Do you think Nami and Zoro are having sex in there?"

There was a distinct choking sound coming from the direction where Usopp had moved on deck to continue reading his book without disturbing Chopper; otherwise all was silent save for the muffled shouts still emanating from Zoro. Robin smiled and turned the page of her book. It certainly was a good thing Sanji and Chopper weren't there to hear that question.

"What would make you think that Luffy-san?"

"It's just 'cause it sounds like that time with Ace."

"I see," Robin replied. The smile lingering on her face as she turned yet another page of the book she was reading. She didn't bother to ask for an elaboration on just what or rather, _who _Ace had been doing but it must have been quiet an energetic bout of sex to sound like their ships navigator and swordsman did right now. Robin chuckled softly and shook her head. "But I doubt it."

Luffy didn't have a chance to question the dark haired woman further as a dishevelled Nami stomped out onto the deck, panting heavily. Luffy stared at her blankly before he tipped his head back to look at Robin upside down.

"Are you _sure _they weren't?" he asked.

"Quite sure, Luffy-san." she replied as she gazed at Nami "I take it everything went well?"

"I got what I wanted." Nami replied as she released her breath and produced a denden Mushi for Robin to see. She would keep a visual record of this moment for future blackmail. "You can come out now Zoro!"

"Never!" came the heated reply from inside the cabin.

Luffy cocked his head to the side and stood up to see what all the fuss was about. After a short trek carried by little legs, he made it to where Nami was standing and peered in the cabin. A snigger escaped the captain's lips before he quickly silenced himself at his first mates withering glare.

"What's so funny?" Usopp asked, his attention drawn from his fantasy as he stood and made his way over to Nami. He too glanced to Zoro, a wicked grin slithering across his face. "Ohhh! Zoro-kun~!" he grinned. "Lookin' good!"

"I'll fucking _kill_ you!" the green haired man roared and charged at his long nosed shipmate. Usopp, who would have normally been horrified by such an attack on his person, merely grabbed up the swordsman and held him at arm's length. Zoro's short arms and legs flailed and beat against Usopp's arms, but to no avail. Finally he slumped in the tanned man's hold and glared heatedly at the long nose.

"Just you wait 'til I'm normal again..."

Usopp took the threat lightly. After all, it could be a while yet before his crewmates were normal and Zoro might well have forgotten by then.

"Zoro-kun~!" he cooed, "I could just eat you up, you're so cute!"

Luffy couldn't hold his laughter another second and burst into loud chuckles. Zoro roared at him to shut up, but slumped again when his captain completely ignored him.

"Oh, come on Zoro, it's not that bad!" Nami said, as she brushed down the swordsman's bright orange overalls and yellow smiley face T-shirt.

"Bitch!"

"Oh cheer up Zoro!" Nami smiled, unaffected by the name calling. "If it's any consolation, I'll reduce your interest to only ten percent."

"That's only because you'll get triple what I owe you in blackmail money!" Zoro protested angrily.

"True," was all Nami could reply, flashing a wicked smirk at the swordsman.

Realising that there was nothing he could do for the time being, Zoro decided to give up for now and opted to take a nap in the nearest corner away from everybody else. Hopefully he could change before dinner and that stupid blonde dart-brow wouldn't see him.

Usopp returned to his book seeing that he wouldn't get any more reactions from Zoro. Robin kept a watchful eye on Luffy as the toddler remained fixated on Zoro. He had that mischievous twinkle in his eye that said he was about to annoy somebody. The archaeologists decided to intervene before the little rubber baby could cause any more trouble. It wouldn't be long before dinner now – there was just about enough time to sort Luffy out with some new clothes.

Robin quickly blossomed an arm behind the boy and picked him up by the collar. She passed him along to more waiting arms as they continued to sprout from the deck. A small squeak escaped the boy as he was lifted into the air and passed along but other than that he made no sound, obviously confused as to what was happening; after all, when he was normal Robin couldn't simply pick him up like that.

A few seconds later Nami felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to find Luffy suspended in the air by a disembodied arm. She raised an eyebrow noticing that Luffy was still clad in his makeshift blanket toga. She grinned wickedly; she may not be able to blackmail Luffy, but it would still be fun to dress him up!

Nami took her dangling Captain from Robin's limb and gave her a quick hi-five before turning back to the boy in her arms. She chuckled evilly and Luffy gulped. He wasn't _that _stupid that he didn't know when to be afraid of his navigator.

**Okay, there you have it. Chapter 7! I was satisfied with this chapter – not happy, but at the minute a lot or rearrangement is going on with this fic and I enjoy the funny parts rather than the filler – but the filler is necessary! I hope you guys enjoyed it!**


	8. Tears & Tantrums

**I apologise for the wait. I've just finished moving house. I've also made a few edits to chapter 7, but nothing major so there's no need to go reread if you don't want to. You guys also need to know that a couple days ago I had laser eye surgery. Fr a few weeks I can't spend more than 20 mins or so at a time on my laptop due to the strain is causes my eyes. I'm working on getting chapters out, but little things keep popping up in my way. Thank you all for your patience. To those of you still waiting for the old Toddler Troubles, I accidentally deleted some messages from my inbox. If you've asked but haven't got it yet, please message me and I'll send it right away!**

**Toddler Troubles**

**Chapter 8: Tears and Tantrums**

Nami had Luffy dressed just in time for dinner. Robin alerted the crew with her devil fruit ability and after skipping lunch it didn't take them long to gather. She waved away Sanji's insistence on serving (since she had cooked once again), with a promise that the little chef could reclaim his kitchen at breakfast tomorrow. Sanji settled reluctantly at the promise.

Chopper by now was refreshed by his lengthy nap and kept his gaze fixed on Zoro throughout the meal. The little reindeer kept a constant stream of food shovelled into his mouth to block any laughter from escaping, as even he considered the gaudy orange funny on the pint sized swordsman.

At the head of the table, Luffy's seat had been raised by a quick alteration from Franky. Where a small stack of books were enough to lift Zoro and Sanji, Luffy's shorted stature required an alteration to some of the furniture. The tiny captain now sported a black T-shirt with bright red shorts (much to his delight), though Nami had been interrupted before she could see if the sandals she'd bought fit him too. For now his toes were left to wiggle free as his legs dangled from his new chair.

Dinner started with its usual frenzy. Habit was hard to kill and nobody seemed to notice that the usual scrabble to defend their food wasn't really necessary. It was Sanji that noticed first how much trouble Luffy seemed to have with his own food. He watched as Luffy gnawed at hunk of meat fruitlessly. His tiny teeth couldn't break the cooked flesh away from the bone. Hunger drove Luffy to abandon the meat and he turned instead to a small bowl of soup beside his main meal. Eager to fill his rumbling belly, Luffy lifted the bowl to his lips and swallowed down as much as he could only to cough it back up moments later; it was too hot. Finally, he moved to eat one of the potatoes, but as soon as he attempted to swallow it whole (as he usually did) he began to choke, and fell from his chair with a bounce. Sanji's shocked yelp alerted the rest of the crew and Usopp was at Luffy's side in less than a second. After a few thumps the potato was dislodged leaving a very upset captain in its wake as he rubbed at his sore throat.

"You okay Luffy?" Usopp asked gently as he lifted Luffy back into his seat. It startled him how fragile Luffy looked all of a sudden.

"Yeah..." Luffy mumbled, as he looked down warily at his food.

"Maybe I could be of assistance?" Robin smiled.

Two arms popped up from the table, grabbed Luffy's fork and started to mash his food together. What couldn't be mashed was chopped swiftly into bite sized pieces and the crew watched as Luffy grabbed a cube of cut meat and tossed it into his mouth. There was a tense moment before a loud exclamation of 'tasty!' signalled the resume of the meal. The rest of dinner passed without event and as Chopper cleared the plates away and started the dishes, Nami brought up the topic that had been on her mind all day.

"So... about the regression." She started tentatively and glanced from one crew member to another. "I don't know how long it will be before the lakes power takes effect... mentally."

Sanji frowned thoughtfully and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Just what does 'regression' include?" he asked quietly, "I mean, will it just be our memories? Or our personalities?"

"I don't know." Nami admitted.

"Since there is supposedly another lake, my guess is that it's an emergency backup if something goes wrong, right?" Usopp asked. "I mean if the first lake takes away experiences and age, surely the second lake should give them back somehow?"

"It sounds quite unbelievable." Robin spoke up, eyebrows drawn together in thought. "But we've come across stranger."

"It'll be fine!" Luffy piped in loudly as he leaned back and rubbed his full tummy in satisfaction. As usual he was undaunted by the possible adverse effects of the trouble they were in. "If we forget, Nami and Franky and everyone else will look after us until we're normal again, ne?"

The steady confidence was enough to shatter the tense atmosphere and in his own, unique way Luffy settled the unrest in the crews mind. His way of dealing with problems was to just get on with it until it was fixed It had always worked for them before and so rather than worrying about the future they would deal with each obstacle as it presented itself. The conversation drifted to a light tease at the expense of Zoro and his new attire and before long the crew resigned themselves to rest. Tomorrow the real search began for the second lake.

It just… it wasn't fair.

Sanji stood on the stool so generously provided by Usopp and peered down at what was _supposed _to be dinner, but his hands just wouldn't work. They were too small, and too chubby, and too babyish! The little chef was struggling to _hold _the potato let alone _peel _it!

With an angry grunt he pulled his leg back and kicked the counter, but boy was _that _ever a mistake. With a yelp he quickly grabbed his foot and hopped on the stool, holding the damaged appendage in pain. Of course, when you're in the body of a 4 year old and hopping around on a stool with one foot, it really is inevitable that you will fall. And fall he did.

With a dull thud, Sanji landed on the floor. Slowly but surely, he raised himself shakily to his feet once more and balled his little hands into fists. Whenever he felt frustrated before, he could just kick something (usually Luffy) or vent off his anger on Zoro but right now neither of those options were available. Sanji turned to his final option of relief from his frustration instead. His hand brushed across his chest in search of his cigarettes only to find them missing. The realisation that he could do nothing to quell his frustration was enough to send the little blonde over the edge.

He ground his teeth together and clenched his eyes closed. A strangled whimper escaped his throat, but he quickly pursed his lips together in futile attempt to quell the noise. He really didn't understand it. He wanted to shout, he wanted to scream and he wanted to hurt somebody, but instead this body... it was making him… oh God he was going to…

The galley door opened and Sanji was glad he had his back faced to whoever had entered. He was sure by now that his face must have been beet red. He just prayed that whoever it was at the door asked a yes or no question so that he could reply with a nod or a shake of the head and send them on their way.

"Sanji-san, I was wondering if you needed any help with the preparation of dinner."

Sanji's eyes snapped open at Robin's voice and he quickly shook his head in a 'no' gesture. The last thing he needed right now was for one of the women to see him like this. Robin watched the little blonde curiously for a moment. The absence of his usual enthusiasm in greeting her aroused suspicion.

"Are you okay Sanji-san?" she asked, gently.

A quick nod of the head made Robin's eyes narrow slightly. Something was definitely up. Normally Sanji couldn't do enough to gain her attention but now it seemed as if he was trying to get rid of her. Her eyes widened as a harsh sob broke free from Sanji's lips and his fists balled tighter. The tension in his shoulders was obvious and a small smile crept onto her face as she took in the upturned stool and the fact that dinner had not yet started.

"Have you had trouble preparing dinner this evening Sanji-san?" she asked curiously, moving closer to the little cook, though he still refused to turn around.

Her smile became sad as small droplets of water fell down to the floor and now she knew he was crying.

"I-I'm sorry R-Robin-ch-chwan," Sanji sobbed as he raised his sleeves in a futile attempt to wipe away the tears "I d-don't think I'll b-be cooking dinner t-tonight."

In one swift movement, Robin moved to stand behind the little chef and scooped him into her arms. She turned him around so he could bury his head in her shoulder. She knew how embarrassing this must have been for him, not only over his pride of cooking, but also his pride as a man. Gently, she ran a hand through the sobbing boy's hair and rocked him from side to side she closed her eyes in search of Nami.

Nami was sitting in her cabin working on mapping out the expanse of the crossbones Islands when she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find one of Robin's arms blossomed there.

"Yes Robin?" she asked, "Can I help you?"

The limb pointed to the cabin door and Nami hesitated a moment before she stood up to comply. Had it been anybody but Robin she would have dismissed them in favour of completing her work, but Robin didn't usually ask for help unless she really needed it. Nami walked onto the deck and followed where Robin's limbs directed her. Soon she arrived at the galley but when she moved to open it, she found it was jammed.

"Robin?" she called against the door "Are you in there?"

The door opened and Nami stepped in. She glanced back as the door closed behind her only to see another of Robin's arms holding it closed so that nobody else could enter.

"What's wrong?" Nami asked, now more alert at Robin's obvious caution. Her eyes fell on the small body held against Robin's chest and she stepped closer to her. "Is Sanji hurt?"

"Sanji-san is fine," Robin answered as she carefully adjusted her hold to make him more comfortable. "He just had some… difficulty in his new form."

Nami didn't bother to question her crewmate. A quick glance around the room gave her enough clues to fill in most of the gaps. Her eyes came to rest on Sanji again, a pang of concern jabbing her insides at his unusual quiet demeanour.

"It seems he has a little trouble controlling his emotions effectively as he is now, isn't that right, Sanji-san?"

A mumble into her shoulder was the only reply as Sanji clenched and unclenched his fists in the fabric of her shirt. Nami couldn't help but think that he really did look like a little 4 year old doing that. Soon he had calmed down and bashfully asked Robin to put him back down. He looked up at the two women in front of him and sighed, a deep blush spread across his face from both the bout of tears and shame.

"Sorry..." he mumbled, "I just… I lost control – I was so frustrated and wanted to let it out, but that was the only way I could."

"I believe that's it's quite normal," Robin stated as she crouched to his level and thumbed away the last traces of his tears from his cheeks. "Your body is reacting to your emotional state as a 4 year old would, just as a baby would cry to be fed."

"But, I'm not really a kid." Sanji muttered and kicked the table lightly. He winced and quickly grabbed his throbbing toes. Nami and Robin exchanged a brief glance and before he could protest, Nami had picked him up and looked into his slightly red eyes.

"Tell that to your body." she stated. "Now, what can we do to help around here?"

"N... Nami-san..." Sanji sniffed and scrubbed at his eyes in an attempt to make himself appear more composed. "I'm alright, really! I just... I got a little overwhelmed."

"Not buying it." Nami replied as she reached for Sanji's apron and picked up where the little chef had left off with the potatoes.

Robin took note of the mortified look on Sanji's face and offered him a reassuring smile, "Sanji-san, it's really no trouble to help out once in a while. Is there anything I can do whilst Nami-san is busy?"

"I..." Sanji trailed off. It felt foreign and wrong to ask his beloved ladies for their help in the kitchen, but he knew in his current form there was no way around it. He could make as many bluffs or excuses as he wanted, but he was in the body of a child and simply couldn't cope with the task of feeding a hungry crew of pirates. Reluctantly he relented in his protest. "The water should be boiling for those potatoes before they go in, and you'll need to heat up some oil in a frying pan..."

Robin nodded and set to work on her tasks. Her devil fruit power came in very handy and helped her to keep up with Sanji's quick fire commands once he became engrossed in guiding the preparation rather than doing it himself. She couldn't help but think he looked more like the head chef of a restaurant than the cook of their ragtag crew.

By the time dinner was ready, Sanji had recovered from his little tantrum and had once again resumed the gush of compliments to the ladies. His mood only improved further when Zoro walked in dressed in a hot pink onesie. His delight was short lived though as Nami swept him away to change into his own baby yellow version of the garment. His weak protest was swiftly silenced with a stern look from Nami and within second Sanji understood why Zoro hadn't just ditched the pink. His stubby child arms couldn't reach the zip. Deflated in defeat, he walked back with Nami and rejoined the crew for dinner. Luffy's food was specially prepared already mashed and cut like the night before and the little captain didn't seem to mind his red onesie at all. Sanji sometimes envied Luffy's simplicity.

The rest of the evening passed without event. As darkness fell and the anchor was dropped for the night, the crew prepared themselves for bed. They ahd made good ground with the days sailing and would be arriving at their next destination early the next day if the winds stayed with them.


End file.
